A new chapter is beginning...

today the big fish from the small pond went into the larger pond, and realised that he was actually a very small fish compared to the rest of the fishes in that larger pond.

maybe you were wondering who that fish was, i can tell you that i was the fish, the fish who swam around the small pond thinking he was very big and ventured into the big pond before realising how small he really was.

today i started the day by waking up at around 830am and smsed zhizhi before he called me and bluffed me into going for today's youth team match against scotch college from australia. he said something like "if you all dont come down today ill get scolded lor, just come down la" and wahh i really believe leh i go call woosheng go too so he wouldnt get scolded because we all respect him then turn out he lie to us!

anyway we reached there and there were only two keepers, me and byron, a national goalie. hah so i just went there and just watched him play the first quarter and watched how the australian shots just flew so fast but he was able to block them. then second quarter was my turn to play and they didnt shoot much at me i let in a goal and saved a lob. heh third quarter i made a few saves that were quite easy and let in one or two goals.

haha then fourth quarter byron went in again and whooped the aussies again he is that pro la. hai anyway those youth team people (all like 18-20 years old) all started comparing me and byron and saying stuff like "walao he reaction slow leh" or "cannot pass very far leh" im sure lor im only bloody 15 and they make comparisons with national goalie! have they forgotten that they were once 15 before, and that they were this standard when they played?

they say until i also no confidence to pass far already actually can pass one but also dont dare la later get scolded lol haha these few times ive been training with the youth team my confidence has taken a huge whack and it has gone steadily all the way down. but hey its good for the long run la, can learn more from them.

haha but i duno whether i should go anymore, because it just kills my confidence la. help! help me make a decision can

should i continue living as the big fish in the small pond and let my confidence be sky high as it usually is, or go adapt to the larger pond with the larger fishes and let myself slowly improve? confidence is very important for goalie la i duno what i should do...

help